I promised you a little bit about the writing process. And no, we don’t use pens much in this time of computers, but the pictures sure look pretty, right?

And here’s the thing about writers and pens. You’d think that writers would be all about fancy pens, maybe even pricey pens that have just the right balance and glide across the page. Most writers do use pens to some degree, so you’d think they’d take it seriously. Nope. You’ll always spot a professional writer cause they’ll have the oldest, most worn out, leaky, crumbling shitty plastic pen that they have lost and found about thirty times.

Oh, and they have super dirty keyboards. Seriously. I don’t know a single real writer without a keyboard that looks like it has a nice honey Dijon glaze over the keys. Even as i write this, my attention is drawn to the sticky nature of certain keys on my own keyboard; a wireless one that as been running low on batteries for about 16 days, but I have forgotten once again to bring in batteries sitting at home bought just for that purpose.

All of that is an aside. We’re here to talk Writers’ Room.

A little background for those who need it.

If you know all about Writers Rooms and are super pressed for time (maybe Dancing with the Stars is about to start, who knows what you do with your spare time) you can take your puffed up self down to the next bit. For all the rest of you, I’ll give a little context.

I come from a sketch comedy and TV writing background, both of which tend to involve a lot of collaboration. The way most TV shows are written is through what is known as a Writer’s Room – essentially a big table and a whiteboard. All the show’s writers are jammed in there, and they work their way through each script as a group. Either the showrunner (the writer who is in charge of every aspect of the show) leads the group, or more frequently once the steamroller of production starts up, the showrunner is off doing the million things they need to be doing to get the show on the air and a senior writer runs the room.

The room becomes your life. You cease to be an individual and you become part of The Room. Being in The Room is a prize often sought after by aspiring writers. It can be a place of intense, joyful creativity – or a place where good people go to die (or least get bitter and develop an ulcer) depending on what The Room is like. The Room is the all important engine of TV – on many comedy shows the script is literally written line by line by The Room, as very funny people compete to get their joke into the script. On a drama, there’s a lot more thoughtful conversation and silent periods of thought. Either way – it is mentally and emotionally exhausting. And there better be sandwiches – sandwiches are the life blood of any Room. Okay, it doesn’t have to be sandwiches, but you need to feed a Room well.

We did have sandwiches.

Tights and Fights: Captain Euchre (which we sometimes refer to as ‘Season 1′) set the tone to the property, and the good Captain would often tell us stories of his crime fighting colleagues. When we decided that we would do Tights and Fights: Ashes, and it would involve more characters, we had quite a few to draw on. We knew that we were going to hire talented writers/performers to take on each character, and we knew we needed a particular skill set, so we started with going down the list of people we knew and worked with to populate our world. I knew I was going to be the bizarre Evil Trojan Borscht. But who else would join us in this insane voyage?

Scott Watkins had made something of a cameo in Tights and Fights: Captain Euchre as a plumber held hostage. We knew that he was an amazing improviser and he and his writing partner Adam Swimmer are very, very funny. Adam, Scott and I had been working together in various forms for years and so we have a shared sensibility, and we’re all comic book geeks. (Sorry guys, if you were keeping that a secret.) Scott played Dr. Phallus in both incarnations of Jake Moxie, the comedy show that Adam and I wrote and tried to get produced. The animated version was the first time I worked closely with Christopher. All that is to say we knew and trusted Scott and Adam, and the idea of that plumber deciding to be a super hero after being held hostage by Captain Euchre made us laugh.

Next up was Melanie Hunter. She’s a very talented comedian, actor and improviser. Melanie just comes alive when she’s on stage or in front of a camera, and we thought that her comedic persona would be a good fit for the character of Fantabulous Gal. When we told her that we were considering her for the part, she blurted out, “I say fantabulous all the time!” When we started, we didn’t have much more figured out for the character than the name, so all the details and connections between Fantabulous Gal and the other characters is largely all Mel.

When it came time to find the voice of Major Faultline, fate took over. I went to grade school in Ottawa with Conor O’Hegarty, and flash forward 20 years (or so) we reconnected over Facebook. Conor was in the very first sketch I ever did, and I was shocked to discover that he was acting in Toronto. He came in as the Major, and quite frankly, some of the stuff he came up with is by far the laugh-out-loud funniest stuff in the series. All I’ll say is future space monkeys. And, seriously, if that’s not enough for you, make an appointment with your doctor. Conor decided not to appear in the series, so Jeremy Knight will be the Major’s face over the next year.

The last role we needed to fill was Leopard Woman, Major Faultline’s wife. We tossed around a couple of names, but nothing really clicked so we decided to have an audition. We saw a bunch of great actresses, but Chelsea Larkin knocked us off our computer seats when she sent us a character monologue delivered to her webcam of a Bronx Goldilocks. And then she came in and read for us, and she was not only hysterically funny, but she played fast and loose with the script – which is exactly the process we’ll be using when we shoot. From that moment on, Chelsea was our Leopard Woman.

I knew I needed help keeping organized and keeping an eye on the voice of the series as a whole. So I brought in a writer that I had worked with quite a bit  my sketch comedy days, Neil Jones. Neil has a very logical mind, and is a much bigger comic guy than I am. Neil was invaluable; he always focused the discussion by outing (quite often) that we had stopped making sense. He also wasn’t shy in declaring what was funny or not funny, but in a way that you couldn’t help but love him for it. Neil did a pass on each and every script we did, clarifying and adding jokes.

And the guy in charge of keeping us all organized and making sure we had sandwiches was Joel Grossman, our Writers Room intern. Not only did Joel keep us fed, made sure the jokes and ideas being yelled around got written down (cause we were already on to the next one), Joel went through the 6 hours of script and made sure that they were in the correct order to the events that were going on in the story – not as easy as you might think since at any given time the five characters could be off doing entirely separate things that suddenly cross and overlap.

And so, the team was assembled! The Room was waiting. Next post, I’ll pick up and give you a peek into what the actual process was like! I might even have pictures!

EDIT: You can find Part Two right here!